09 May Mama’s Day
I remember writing love letters to Mama back in the days when I was young enough to think it was cool, then I started getting lunch money for school so I could afford to save-up on ‘lil treats for her. Finally I started working, that’s when the real gifts started to come in.
When were young, we have all the time to work on thoughtful presents like handmade cards and poetry, (which I both did) but as we grow older, we lose these spare moments of devotion to responsibilities like school and work so we compensate by buying gifts. If you’re like me, you’ll even just end up giving out cash because you don’t even have the time to scour the mall for the perfect treat–Really impersonal to the point of insensitivity, but it’s practical and that’s really all I can offer anyone right now.
Juggling corporate responsibilities in Neovince Advertising and Technologies, our vegetarian business Cocogreen and Co and modeling stints all at the same time leaves me ‘lil room for anything else–be it dates, RnR’s, leisure and even my writing.
It’s always a struggle to create open-windows, but I fought for one now. It’s Mother’s Day soon and to make (or try at least) to make up for all those years I failed to make it special for my Mom Id like to relive the days when I wrote to her, only now Im writing about her.
Mama was and still is, my first best friend. We fought a lot even when I was a ‘lil girl because like her, I was stubborn. Even then, she never talked to me like a child, it was always real conversations involved which is maybe why, I matured really fast.
Everything I was, am and will be, I will always owe to my Mother.
In fact my brother says that I’m her lil protege, though I prefer to be called prodigy, *uhem Itachi Uchiha
My mother, head-strong as she is, had always been very generous to the point of recklessness. Because she was skilled, she was able to acquire easily but because she was very giving, she was very vulnerable to abusive friends and kins.
Much like my Father I guess.
Having witnessed this, I learned the importance of accountability.
Never deny anyone what is due them, but never provide what they have not earned.
The reason I never strayed as a student, why I was able to keep my grades scholastic when my peers nonchalantly took everything astride could be attributed to this ingrained sense of accountability.
My parents were investing on premium education they could barely afford, the least I could do was make the most out of it.
To be deserving is to be accountable.
When our finances crashed, our family broke-down with it. It was the same values I was disciplined to learn as a child that would allow me to cope through it all.
For what could be a better expression of Love than to see to it that they are well cared for?
that they are looked after?
that they have the best?
To be responsible is to be accountable.
How I relate to Love is deeply rooted in this principle, why I never clang to anyone: why I have always and will always choose to let go instead of hold anyone back …
Even when it hurts, especially when it hurts.
Which is why I was able to accept my Father’s passing graciously, I saw it as a choice I had to respect. You love someone, you respect their decision, you support it, even if it is a choice to leave you.
‘corz at the beginning it’s always bitter, then it gets better. Always does.
To accept and move on is to be accountable for your own happiness.
My mom taught me this by example, I was just a keen observer.
We still fight my mom and I, it got better when she started to accept, (and even appreciate I hope) that I was now capable of calling my own shots, even if I do miss every so often.
I still consult with Mama about mostly everything. Well, of course boy issues are still awkward topics, but she’s more receptive to the idea now than before.
She’s even rolling her eyes at my sex theories now, commenting on how juvenile and how inaccurate they are and would even correct it for me.
How cool is that!
When I first told her I was gonna get inked, she disapproved, but after I got them (and my brothers followed) she pointed out how lame the design was without colors.
Now she wants me to get a new one, she even recommended an artist.
Im also always asking her advice with work, because as a former General Manager of a restaurant, she had better people skills than I ever will as a Relations and Marketing executive in my corporate work.
Im still surprised sometimes at how well her tip’n tricks would do.
In fact, it’s so well received that even my Boss comes to her for advice–without me!
So there are times Id come home late and walk-in my boss and my mother having a chat at our dinner table, and Id be forced to say something like, “Oy Ill never be able to relax at home if you’re here boss, sight of you trigger my head to go on work-mode!”
To which my mom would berate me and tell me to be nice and shut the hell up.
Cocogreen and Co was actually made for her, she’d never admit to it because her pride would never let her but the only reason I put it up to begin with was because I wanted to give her something to get busy at while I worked on my career.
Something that combined both our passion: hers for cooking and mine for sustainable living.
Thus Cocogreen and Co; Vegetarian Alternatives was founded.
I ended up falling in love with it more than I should have too.
This Mother’s Day…
as cheesy as it may sound, I just wanna tell my Mama how much she’s loved, appreciated and supported 100% of the time. Yes this includes the moments we are on a disagreement on something or even the mood-swings.
I still don’t have time to write a poem or shop for the perfect gift and Ill still give cash this Sunday to make up for it but I hope that this post can make it more personal this time around.
I love you Mama, thanks for bearing my insufferable personality! I know you’re the only one who can <3