02 Oct Confessions of a speed dater
Confessions of a speed dater: Ang bagong harana?
In a generation obsessed with everything instant, it was only a matter of time before people looked for “instant love.”
Speed dating has been steadily growing in the Philippines since 2000, thanks to an episode of Sex and the City. What started as a radical recreational activity sponsored by restaurants and companies for their patrons and employees became in itself, an event which people, particularly the young, looked forward to.
Speed dating events allows us to meet the most number of prospects in the least amount of time. In a typical round-robin set-up, daters are only given one to eight minutes to converse with one another in order to give everybody a fair chance to meet with the rest of the speed dating crowd.
The reason for the rising popularity of speed dating in the country can be attributed to its fast paced, low-risk nature when it comes to romantic involvement. Not only is the rate of rejection minimal, it is almost none existent. This is because in a genuine speed dating party, participants don’t have to ask each other out as this is the responsibility of the coordinators. The hosts will be the ones to decide each dater’s match which they will determine if both parties express mutual interest with each other as indicated in their score sheets.
Said score sheets will contain the names or code number of every participant in the event. Through this, their answers will be used to determine who is interested with who by having them check the names or code number of the person they wish to pursue further after the event by allowing them access to the other’s personal contact details.
Speed dating is also cheaper than conventional dating since each partaker is bounded by event policies to reveal as much information about one’s person within the allotted time, as opposed to the traditional form of dating which is generally slow paced as it is prone to initial awkwardness and reluctance.
Although speed dating greatly increases one’s chance with various prospects, the chances of meeting a match is not assured. Most attendees go home feeling disappointed that they were not able to establish a “real connection” with any of the participants, or that no “sparks” came flying around. Some were able to secure for themselves “fling materials,” but of whom they immediately lose interest in once the physical attraction has waned. Of course there are a few who are lucky enough to gain a genuine romantic relationship out of the experience. But for most speed-daters, the most they could achieve from participating in the event are new acquaintances.
When we look for a partner, we look for someone who shares our interest and our ideals. Opposites may attract but without a common ground to hit it off with, no relationship can foster beyond pleasantries. The fact that speed dating caters to people of random backgrounds decreases the chance of meeting someone of the same interest. Can you imagine pairing up a bookworm to a none-reading sports junkie? The possibility of these two kinds of people finding what they are looking for in each other is not impossible, but is not probable either. In short, the chance of finding a good match in a non-specific speed dating event is slim.
This is precisely why today’s propagators of speed dating events have narrowed their invitations to particular interest groups. Just recently, Animax has set the stage for anime loving individuals to not only get the opportunity to mingle with their fellow animaniacs, but also get the chance to get to know them more intimately by means of speed dating. At the same time, the Chinese community has thoroughly integrated the idea within their circle by regularly hosting speed dating events in exclusive Chinese restaurants within their compounds.
Indeed speed dating is steadily getting more popular with the Generation X, but despite its steadily gaining acceptance, especially among the young, this concept is not likely to find itself within colleges and universities. This is why campus themed speed dating events are done outside the school without the consensus of administrators.
The faculty and staff of our schools have good reason to disapprove of speed dating, and this has nothing to do with them being traditional. Speed dating after all, is a lair for serial daters who are only seeking to satisfy their sexual appetite. Most young daters won’t be able to recognize these kinds of people upon contact. And because serial daters have mastered the art of charming other people to do their bidding, young minds will easily fall prey to their seduction and end up having their money ripped, their bodies exploited and their hearts broken.
Speeding Dating Rules
For security purposes, you cannot ask for your date’s address or personal number nor should you give your own.
It is advised that you do not inform your date if you have chosen them or not on your score sheet.
You can express your interest towards your date verbally but as a matter of decorum, refrain from rejecting them as this is unnecessary.
The men are the ones who do the moving while the women remain seated.
It is only proper that your sight is secured towards your date and not the other tables’.
You are not allowed to skip a turn.
Should you result in a successful match, it is still advised that you approach the person with all the caution one would address a stranger.
Do have fun.